The Duchess of Cambridge is Pregnant

Could it be true that the Duchess of Cambridge is up the duff? Is she in the club? Has she caught for a baby? Has the Duchess of Cambridge, wife of the Duke of Cambridge, His Royal Highness (HRH) Prince William - the woman formerly known as Kate Middleton - fallen pregnant?

There is much speculation in the British press as to the condition of the Right Royal woman. Glory be! Wouldn't it be spectacular if in the year that Elizabeth II's reign reaches 60 years that an heir to the throne be born? We'd all be so pleased! We'd surely want to hand over more and more money to the Royals - just for being Royal!


We love wasting money on them!

But is the Duchess of Sloane Square and Chelsea, aka Princess Kate pregnant? Read on to find the answer that you were expecting - if you have the slightest bit of intelligence...

REALITY CHECK!

Women with anorexia-nervosa are unable to conceive. They are not sufficiently nourished to have a menstrual cycle. No egg is released from their ovaries and so there is no egg to impregnate. There is nothing to fertilize. There is no new generation of royals.

Kate Middleton's Descent into Anorexia Nervosa

Once upon a time Kate Middleton committed the sin of possessing body fat. It was a harsh sin but one which she promised she would be rid of if she ever "got her man". She started the Dukan Diet and only ate protein. Luckily she could afford it. Her mother joined her too and they both became haggard together. Kate was so thin on her wedding day that her arms looked like spindles. Fortunately her skeletal legs were hidden under her dress otherwise they would have been compared to those in the picture above.

Then the conclusion would have had to been that Kate Middleton has anorexia nervosa. Not only is she doing her bit for the economy but the Duchess is making anorexia nervosa look cool and presenting a great incentive to children to stop eating and become ill. After all, if they do, their Prince Charming will turn up and make the economic crisis disappear... for them at least.

God Save the Queen!